I'm okay...

That’s what I told Andy when he woke me up this morning. I had slept in on my notes and it was already too late for being at University at the right time. “You’re sure? You look like a corpse…” “Oh thank you, darling!” I grumbled. I stood up and before I even could realise, that the night was over and I had to go, he took me into his arms. “Whatever will happen,” he whispered, “I love you. Remember this.” Then he turned round and left the room. I just stood there, thinking about his words. And wondering. Then suddenly, I started crying. All those hidden emotions, sorrows and a lot of pressure left me with the tears. I don’t know for how long I sat there, but in the end I didn’t care. I just felt better when I stood up. Andy had already left and I was alone – again.

In the end I was at University – for 10 minutes. At first I arrived much too late and then they sent me home again. I don’t know why, but the things that happened were too much for me. My mind feels like dead. I don’t know what I’m feeling for certain persons and that is driving me crazy. I used to have a simple life but currently everything is so… different. And complex. Tomorrow I’ll be in hospital – I’m looking forward to the morphine… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Usually I’m not that sentimental.

I’m missing Laura! She could always help me.

I think Andy knows what I’m feeling. But he doesn’t say a thing. I’m worried how this will end…